Woman at center of adoption scam sentenced to prison…
So, I just read this article about a woman who scammed some potential adoptive parents out of what appears to be $800 + depending on the occasions of offense. This isn’t the first time she has done this, in fact she has already served time for doing it, and offended this last time, shortly after her release of the first offense.
In no way am I advocating that what she did was right. I think she was wrong to do this. What I’m wondering however is why there aren’t laws preventing paying anyones expenses pre-adoption. I don’t think that PAP’s should be allowed to pay any expecting parents expenses pre-delivery. This shoots out warning lights to me, all kinds of red flags are popping up in my mind when I read stories about this happening.
I’m surprised this doesn’t happen more actually. Adoptions cannot be consented to pre-pregnancy in this country ( yet! ), and I see this as a manipulating tactic to try and secure the decision to surrender. I don’t think allowing the paying of expenses pre-birth is ethical, and I think its coercive to the expecting parents, usually mother.
I am a huge advocate to not making an adoption plan while pregnant. I think that expecting parents should give parenting a try before they decide they won’t be good at it and relationships built in the interests of surrendering the expected child will only decrease the child’s “chance” at being raised by his or her natural parents. Which is why I don’t believe in these “paying any pre-birth expenses” laws. Imagine you are pregnant, and poor, and don’t know if you’ll be able to pay for your child, so you consider adoption, they help you with your bills, and then you have your child. You want to parent, but look at the relationship you have built with the PAP’s and the agency and look at all of the money they have invested in your pregnancy with the understanding that you were considering adoption. Thats subtle coercion.
Agencies know this, that is why they will house and pay for mothers expenses. They know that most surrenders these days come from mothers in a financial crisis. That they won’t have the money to pay it back and will be even more financially burdened than they were before they walked into that agency, pregnant, and scared. Paying these expecting parents expenses almost seals the deal.
Vampires I tell ya, there are over 3000 of them networking in the United States alone. Most have cute little names affiliating themselves with love, angels, hearts, even tedi bears but behind the cute names are years and millions of dollars that have gone into figuring out how to secure an adoption to make a few thousand dollars off of it. Its no secret that the adoption industry rakes in multiple billions annually. Non profits are making quite a profit. Pre-paid living expenses, pre-birth relationships with potential adoptive parents and agencies are doing a disservice to the preservation of family, to the right of the child to be raised by his or her natural parent/s.
The UNICEF has a great “Rights overview” ( it is a pdf. and will download upon clicking ) on the Convention of the Rights of the Child and this is a quote from it:
Article 7 (Registration, name, nationality, care): All children have the right to a legally registered name, officially recognised by the government. Children have the right to a nationality (to belong to a country). Children also have the right to know and, as far as possible, to be cared for by their parents.
Article 8 (Preservation of identity): Children have the right to an identity – an official record of who they are. Governments should respect children’s right to a name, a nationality and family ties.
Article 9 (Separation from parents): Children have the right to live with their parent(s), unless it is bad for them. Children whose parents do not live together have the right to stay in contact with both parents, unless this might hurt the child.
In conclusion to that, I’d like to note how far away the US adoption industry is running from the Convention of the Rights of the Child. I’d also like to ask anyone who reads this, what does that say about adoption in reference to the best interests of the child?
October 3, 2008 at 6:01 am
You’re right Gershom. Money and material things are NEVER more important then knowing who one is, or having the love from one’s Real Mother. These are things that money CAN’T buy, and are beyond monetary worth, and taking them away from any child, is NEVER in the best interest of the child. It aggravates me how PAP’s and AP’s can be so shallow and think toys and trips are more important then being raised in one’s own family and developing a strong sense of idenity due to that. I am glad this woman got put in jail-it is sad still, that ripping off PAP’s is still looked at as the real tragedy-after all, they are being immoral and offering to pay to own another human being, so they reap what they sow. We Adoptees know the true tragedy is that money is so overated in this country and wrongly affliated with seeing one who has alot of it as being “a winner”, “a success”, that people who have it are allowed to hurt innocent babies who need their Real Mothers, and cause them a lifetime of pain by separating them. A better life is never one of confusion for an Adoptee in Open Adoption(along with still feeling rejected by their Real Mother), and being denied intimate and personal information about one’s self, like who their own Mother is in Closed Adoption. Buying a family is insane-and so is forcing someone to be part of a family, so infertile couples can feel important. A family isn’t anything that was ever meant to be bought. I agree too that PAP’s who spend money on a pregant female, just to get her baby is coersion. It is very underhanded too. I hope the public will soon see as well, Adoptees and BSE Moms, have gotten alot worse from the Adoption Industry then just losing some money.
October 3, 2008 at 8:08 am
Great Points! And I agree with everything you said 100%.
I don’t agree at all with what that woman did to defraud these couples of money but when they support and participate in such actions, they are placing themselves in these situations through their own desperation. I have a hard time finding sympathy for them since I firmly believe such actions to ensure a baby before it’s even born should be illegal as well since they are using money for a personal gain of their own just as this woman was doing.
Pre-birth matching needs to be banned. It is wrong and one of the most coercive tactis used on expectant moms. Adoption agencies, lawyers, paps – anyone who will in anyway profit from a mother losing her child – should not be allowed anywhere near a woman until AFTER she has given birth, been given time to recover and tried raising her child on her own. In my opinion, aparents who formed a relationship with the expectant mom while she was still pregnant and was there to take the baby home with them from the hospital DID NOT have an ethical adoption and CANNOT say that their child’s mother made a decision without any coercion or manipulation. No woman can decide whether or not to parent her child until she has been given the chance to parent!
October 4, 2008 at 11:45 pm
Thanks you guys, glad to see we’re in agreement. Its late, and I’ve been wanting to comment, but haven’t had time so I wanted to say thanks!