Anti-Adoption?
Before you get offended, because you have adopted, or are adopted, or maybe surrendered a child to adoption, take a deep breath, this is not against YOU. There is a bigger picture, a bigger umbrella that you and / or your household is only a small part of. Most likely you have no idea that the system is such a large scale system, and that it has manipulated YOU as well.
If you’re already feeling angry, I ask you to please bookmark and return later at a more peaceful time in your life.
If you’d like to stay and talk about things for a while, I’m more than willing.
What I’m asking of any guest that should come across this site is to look at the greater picture of adoption. HOW MUCH is it really benefiting society? WHO is it benefiting? What is happening to the aftermath of adoption?
No I don’t think starving children should be left to die. That would be incredibly cruel of me and I am not a cruel person. A humanitarian infact, and I believe that we, as one human race, should be helping poverty stricken communitties on a greater scale than the adoption of their offspring. Helping ourselves(Americans) to their children(international adoption) isn’t really helping them improve their society in any way. Its helping to support whatever is causing such a profound loss that would make a mother surrender her child. Not just A mother, but hundreds of thousands of mothers surrendering their children to adoption every year.
The newborn infant adoption industry in America is so full of corruption and secrecy its going to just burst at any minute. The UK isn’t giving me much hope even though identity rights have been restored. Africa just had a child trafficking ring busted, America has them in every state, most likely under any foo foo alias “adoption a loving choice” “miracle adoptions” you know, the “non profit”(i’ll definately be exposing how much they’re REALLY making) agencies who call expecting mothers “birthmothers” “heroic”and “wonderful” for giving their flesh and blood to complete strangers. China is forcing its women into surrenders of their children and isn’t showing any hope for growth in that department any time soon.
Some good news in Korea though, they no longer want to be known as the baby exporting country so they’ve set up a family planning program to encourage single motherhood and make it more possible.
My point to this being, with just a “little” bit of research, you find that its not just a couple little things that are forcing mothers into surrender, creating profound loss within the infant/child/youth and herself. Its many different circumstances that need to be addressed and reformed immediately.
Attachment related issues can have a profound effect on children and adults, that can take lifetimes to heal. Prevention, if possible should be of primary concern. If we want any hope for our worlds future we must drastically change the way we’re treating our children, before its too late.
Golden rule: Open minds, open discussion.
March 21, 2008 at 8:23 am
from mine own view i see adoption to be a humanitarian service to the society. giving succour and peace to the orphans or destitutes not neccesarily asking the poor parents to give up their children,here we advocate for family support or social services that will enable these parents support their family appropraiately.but in situations where these kids are left wit no hope nor family to rely on. they grow up becoming a bane to the society of which any one even u can fall a victim.but if these kids are taken into a family properly (legally) it will give a glimmer of hope to their dreams. and this is good so we recommend that u rephrase and properly specify your fight against adoption.
Vision: “striving towards the reality that every child deserves a home”
we carry out enlightnment and educative programmes their will provide foster parenting . and adoption .and as well provide a safety and legal network to protct their rights.
March 22, 2008 at 10:35 pm
From my view, adoption isn’t anywhere NEAR a humanitarian service to society or to children. Perhaps to prospective adoptive parents wanting to add children into their family, but its certainly not even within proximity of helping orphans or poverty stricken communities on a large scale basis.
What does adoption do to help poverty stricken communities and countries? How does it help end the poverty? What is it doing for the “people” left behind in the country the “adoptee” comes from? It appears we agree that mothers and fathers should be given the means necessary to parent and that poverty shouldn’t attribute to adoptions, but it most certainly does.
Speaking of orphans there are over 13 million orphans from Aids alone, in Africa, what is adoption doing to help them on a large scale? In my opinion, little and that is giving it a lot of credit. There are MUCH GREATER things that “humanitarians” could be doing for orphans with $20,000-$40,000 which they’re instead spending on ONE CHILD.
Telefood http://www.telefood.com - For never more than $10,000 telefood goes into ‘communities’ and restores villages from 5-30 people and “teaches” them how to survive off of the land. Fixes their housing, gives them food, training and education to survive in the future. They help end the reasons behind relinquishing in poverty stricken communities.
Mothers without Borders - http://www.motherswithoutborders.org goes into Africa creates safe homes for the fleeing children caught in war to flee to, and gives them scholarships to go to bording schools in their country to get education and remain a part of their country. They provide education, clothing, food and bording for children all across the continent. THEY are impacting orphans on a LARGE SCALE for MUCH LESS than the cost of an adoption.
And look at what this man is doing to help orphans on a large scale building “orphan communities” that provide for many more orphans for the price of an adoption: http://www.orphancommunities.org/Home.asp
The list can really go on and on about impacting orphans from a humanitarian approach compared to adoption. Adoption, is about the industry making money.
Fortress, I defined my statement very clear. I ask all guests stopping to REALLY sit down and think about adoption. REALLY THINK about it. Look at the BIG PICTURE of adoption.
HOW MUCH is it really benefiting society? WHO is it benefiting? What is happening to the aftermath of adoption?
There are many groups that make the aftermath of adoption, I am willing to go over all of them with you for the sake of understanding adoption in the big picture that it is to open your eyes to the fact that its doing MUCH MORE damage than it is doing GOOD.
STEP OUTSIDE THE BOX.
April 23, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Anti-adoption advocates hate infertile couples in general, seeing us as the problem. What they fail to realize is that many, many infertile couples have NO desire at all to adopt. For us, adoption would only be a VERY LAST RESORT.
That’s right, birthmothers - your child would be a last resort for us, whether you like that or not. Your child is not the great prize you may think he is. What most of us want most is our own biological child!
Thank God for advances in reproductive medicine. IVF success rates are improving all the time. I predict in the future there will be a lot fewer people adopting or fostering children, because they will be able to have their own child.
May 13, 2008 at 1:16 am
That was harsh. I guess you didn’t even look around. I’m not a “birthmother” I’m the undesired last resort. Nice. How fitting that she posted this on my birthday lmao.
And for the record, I don’t “hate” infertile people. That would mean I hate my adoptive parents and I don’t hate them either. You’re very defensive for something you care so little about.
May 22, 2008 at 6:53 am
At age eight my family adopted two brothers of age nine and eleven. Their father had abandoned them. Their mother, due to mental illness, had them living on the street. By the time we meet them they had been in the foster system for many years. From what I gather you suggest
1) There could have been more done to keep them with their mother. — I agree
2) Massive programs that address poverty are better than one of solutions of adoptive parents. - I disagree
I come from Hawaii and am of Hawaiian descent. As a people, ancient Hawaiians often adopted children. These adoptions happened for many reasons. It was an honor to be given the opportunity to raise a child. Therefor children were often raised by parents who were not their biological parents. Having experience the remnants of this practice in my family and in the families of others I can promise that these acts were acts of love. Best of all, adoption in this from was, more often than not, highly beneficial to the child. The act of adoption in Hawaii made these children feel wanted and cherished not abandoned. This is in direct contrast of the writer who explained that adoption for most infertile parents is an act of last resort. This kind of adoption is simple an act of love.
I propose that adoptions of this orientation are little miracles that are needed and are not outweighed by efforts to rid poverty among large groups. The service my family was able to provide to my brothers was highly valuable. They learned to love again, because a family decided to give them respect and love for the duration of their lives. Thus year after year these two children of God were blessed with a family that truly cared for them. (Note I am comparing our relationship with my brothers to their relationships in the foster system not the relationship held with their mother. )
The key is that they were supplied with this love from year to year. I am a true believer that the best way to build a gorge is a powerful river that slowly but surely eats away at the rock from year to year. Life on earth is not easy. To think that poverty can be overcome with very quick means is wrong. The best method to overcome poverty is microfinance but the only effective microfinance programs do more than lend money. They actually stick around each family and provide millions of social services. Adoption is a perfect method for a family to dedicate a lifetime of service to an individual. This lifetime of dedication and love makes it a miracle.
Now make it known that I do not believe in the process of going to a foreign country to adopt a new born. I believe in adopting children in your own State who have been abandoned by their parents. Now in this context I still believe that adoptions aren’t always best. In the case where mothers are deemed unfit to raise their children there are some questions I desire to ask. Are we doing enough to help the mother keep her children? Are their groups and programs that identify families who are about to risk losing their children and then set them up with families who in a way can adopt the whole family instead of just the kids? A program that gives these children all the love they get from adoption with but also keeps them with their birth parents would be best. Yet, we should not forget that adoption is definitely a labor love and a magical thing. Even with programs where families are adopted in a sense not just the kids parents can choose to mess up. Birth parents are human and have the opportunity to miss up. I believe if society tries its hardest to help a family and they still choose to molest a child or continue to make bad choices that leave their children no choice but to live on the streets, i.e. drug use, I believe that adoption is the right thing for those kids. Those kids should be protected. They should be taken from their parents and should be adopted. The family who does adopt the children should respect the birth parents and should let them clean up their lives and get their children back. But the key is that adoption is highly needed and the right thing to do for these children and their birth parents in these cases.
So in summary I come from the Hawaiian culture where adoptions was very common in ancient time and was a practice that made children feel loved not abandoned. I believe in adoption of children in your own State. I do not believe in the practice of going to other countries to get a new born. I think Adoption is a miracle because the family who adopts these children will labor for the adopted children for the rest of these children’s lives which is a lot of sacrifice and a lot of love. Their could be more work to help struggling families that keeps kids with their natural born parents. It is a great goal to keep children with their birth parents. Yet, we are human and even with our best efforts birth parents can be selfish and either get into something like drugs or may abuse their children. In this case adoptions is needed and is a blessing.
May 24, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Hi,
I agree with you to some degree. I too, am Hawaiian. Only I was taught something much different about “our” culture, being that “our” Hawaiian people try to keep each other in the family as much as possible. Acknowledging the sacredness to Hawaiian Ancestry, not wanting to let “our people” get lost by adoption. Which, is what happened to me, but we can overlook that for the moment.
I think that you, serious about adoption, have some beautiful ideas which hopefully were behind the intention of “adoption” to begin with, but the reality of it has unfortunately grown to be much much more corrupted than family preservation first and adoption as a last alternative only after the first parents have failed.
For example Camira Bailey a Hawai’i local, today just lost a long fight for her child. Her child which she never abused, which she was coerced into surrendering, which she fought tooth and nail for, the Aparents (who left the state with the child, without custody of the child) won custody because of bonding, but they shouldn’t have had the child to begin with. What kind of world is this when abductors are getting custody because they fled early enough with the child before anyone caught them?
Thats not really a question to “you” but really the world in general because the reality of adoption today is frightening, for first parents, for adoptees, and adoptive parents. Everyone is getting scammed right across the board and then played against each other to cover up the real culprits making all the money.
Its time that agencies and social workers and the states are held accountable for what they are doing. If adoption was about helping the children who needed homes there wouldn’t be children languishing in the foster care system that are available for adoption, they’d all have homes.
Thanks for stopping by and I do hope you stick around, i have appreciated the dialogs.
June 6, 2008 at 4:30 am
Hello
I am a french journalist working on a documentary on illegal adoptions (babies being given / sold to adoption abroad) whereas they were not orphans. I would like to meet people in NYC where i am gonna be in one month to make interviews with these persons. I already started filming some stuff in cambodia recently on babies being sold to orphanage and then foreigners. Thanx for telling if you can help. all my best. dominique Mesmin dm1@noos.fr